It’s a bit of a fight.

My instinct is to improvise. My training is in design.

So What do you do? Think ahead or roll with the punches?

Here’s what I do. I just don’t worry about it. I let things happen. I look around, and I do improvise, but not without a bit of thought. This creates meaning for me. I see that this world throws some strange things at us, and we have to both make do with those things AND try to find meaning in them. Every piece of art that I make has these elements.

I use whatever things are around. But lately, I've been finding it wonderful to use spray paint. I love the way it just falls onto a piece of paper or wood.  I'll look around for objects to place on the paper, and see if it makes an image that follows my state of mind. If it does I keep going, and moving objects around on the surface, until I see a pattern starting. That's when the real artwork starts. I follow it, then I manipulate it, and then something amazing happens.
It can be a pair of old fishnet stockings, or a gear from a bike, or even a faucet handle. But whatever the image, it becomes part of a spectacle.
This allows me to look, and then see images, landscapes and figures, growing in front of me.

I often start off with one or two colors, I like blue. But I don't limit myself.  It depends on my mood.  It's my mood and state of mind that matters, and these lead me on to finish a piece. I know it's ready for others to see when I can't stop looking at it.

There's a call. A vocation. Like Cloister Bells.  I can't stay away. There I am, relaxing, and suddenly I go.
There's this feeling of the paint on my hands. And also the way it smells. I still haven't figured it out, but it makes me want to say something. And then I do it. Painting will probably always perplex me. It's a need which I still don't understand.
So I'll keep doing it.
I'm still working on this idea of what I think about the work. Maybe I just don't. My thoughts go into so many places that even trying to take a moment to think can become another road to another thought. How can I tell someone what I think about my work, when I can't stop changing my mind?
I have a cunning plan to deal with that.
I paint!